LOL7thSon winners announced! (kthxbai)
Greetings, loyal Agents of the Ministry! Natasha, our fearless Voice of the MOP, has returned from a long Moscow vacation to announce the five winners of the most recent Ministry mission, Operation LOL7thSon!
While all of the participants created brilliant 7S-inspired LOL images, these five Agents crafted pictures so witty, even the humorless Natasha gave a chuckle.
Behold the five winners … and their artwork! (Winners will receive emails from Natasha very soon!)
- Isaac for “Jon Come Hom Plz…”
- The Doctor for “Dere Iz No Clonz”
- JR Merlin for “Im In Your Ministry Propagandering…”
- MartynDarkly for “Kittyroy 2.0, Meh Is Everwhere”
- Fried Geek for “This Town Is Teh Suck”
Also included in the gallery above are the cool prizes these Agents have won! GeekLabel T-shirts, MOP mugs and license plate borders … even John Alpha’s “How To Take Over the World” journal!
A big SPASIBA to all who entered the contest! And keep your ears peeled, Agents: a new MOP mission … with the coolest capitalist swag yet … is coming soon!
–J.C.
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MOP Audio Dispatch: Operation LOL7thSon
UPDATE: This MOP mission-content has concluded. Please visit the LOL7thSon gallery here to view the final LOL7thSon gallery. If you wish to create your own LOL7thSon image, send it to Natasha at the email address below.
Another ambitious mission awaits you! Natasha, voice of the 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda, commands you to participate in MOP mission #5, code-named “Operation LOL7thSon.”
Complete this mission, and you’ll land your name on the coveted Agents of the Ministry page. Plus, FIVE lucky winners will take home MOP capitalist swag.
Link to the mission page is here. Transmission ends.
7th Son Ministry Of Propaganda
~ Domination Through Replication ~
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MOP Mission #6: Operation LOL7thSon
UPDATE: This MOP mission-content has concluded. Please visit the LOL7thSon gallery here to view the final LOL7thSon gallery. If you wish to create your own LOL7thSon image, send it to Natasha at the email address below.
Comrades, the time has come to use your brilliance and humor to spread the 7th Son message to the unwashed, ignorant capitalist masses! Natasha, the Voice of the Ministry, conceived this Ministry of Propaganda mission herself. It demands cunning, creativity … and a familiarity with the Internet meme LOL CATS!
You don’t know of LOL Cats? Natasha is appalled. Click here to see cuddly American kitties with charming ‘Net speak cutlines. (Oh, teh CUTE!) Examine many examples on this site! Arm yourself with LOL language and whiskered wit! You will use similar techniques to evangelize the 7th Son cause, comrades. We shall woo the capitalist populace with teh funny, kthxbai.
Your mission: Operation LOL7thSon.
You shall create 7th Son-themed LOL pictures, post them to J.C. Hutchins’ special LOL7thSon gallery, and email your uneducated friends to promote 7th Son (and showcase your hard work).
The creators of the five funniest images will win 7th Son capitalistic swag. Prizes include an MOP coffee mug, a 7th Son T-shirt, and more! Natasha will personally judge these entries. As you know, comrades, our Russian taskmaster is not known for her sense of humor — so make these LOL7thSon images extra funny, if you hope to win.
So what must you do to win such coveted prizes? (Not to mention your name on the Agents of the Ministry page?) Easy-peasy, comrade. Follow these simple instructions to create your artwork to post on the LOL7thSon gallery. This process takes less than five minutes; even the busiest soldiers in The People’s Army can participate!
Step 1: Find a photo that you’d like to transform into a funny LOL7thSon picture. Images of public figures, animals, pop culture icons and your own personal photographs work best for this. Get creative! Please avoid using photos of private individuals who haven’t given their consent.
Keep it clean, comrades. If the photo is beyond a PG-rating, it’ll get yanked from the site. (You will also incur the wrath of Natasha and J.C. This is not a good thing. Nyet.)
Step 2: Once you’ve picked your photo, head over to the awesome “LOL Generator” at the Big Huge Labs site. Click here to easily add 7th Son-themed LOL text to your photo!
Step 3: Click the LOL Generator’s “Choose File” button to select the image you wish to LOL7thSon.
Step 4: Enter something super-clever in the screen’s text fields … and be sure to make it LOL-esque! Text can be placed at the top of your LOL7thSon picture, or the bottom, or both. Be sure to take advantage of the other features here, such as the “keep this part of my photo visible” setting, and the text alignment settings.
Again: keep it clean, Agents. PG rating here.
Step 5: Click the Create button!
Step 6: You’ll be sent to a new page featuring your new LOL7thSon image! Feel free to tweak the pic if you need to. When you’re done, hit the “Save” button.
Step 7: IMPORTANT STEP, Agents: Be sure to properly name your image to receive credit in the LOL7thSon gallery. Please rename your picture with this naming convention: The word “By” and then your name or nickname. (Example: By JC Hutchins.jpg or By NatashaMOP.jpg)
Step 8: You’re almost done! Visit the LOL7thSon gallery to upload your LOL pic! Click here to get there!
Step 9: Click on the “Upload” button in the page’s options bar. Follow the directions to post your LOL7thSon picture to the gallery. And behold! Yur in J.C.’s website, pwning hiz gallry!!!11!one!
Step 10: Now click on the “Tell a Friend” button and follow the directions to email FIVE of your friends who you think would like the 7th Son trilogy. They can be family, favorite bloggers, whomever you like. Be sure to separate the email addresses with commas. ALSO: Include NATASHA’S email address in this field! (7thSonMOP@gmail.com) You can’t win a prize if she doesn’t have your email address!
Include any personal message in the email to your comrades, but it must also include this message (or your personalized variation):
Hey! If you can, check out http://www.7thSonTrilogy.com to see why I sent you this silliness. I’m a fan of 7th Son, this free audiobook novel. It’s a thriller about human cloning. Think James Bond-meets-“Multiplicity” … or a mashup of Michael Crichton and Tom Clancy. Cool stuff.
Remember, Agents: you must include NATASHA’s email address in your message for mission compliance. The creators of the FIVE funniest LOL7thSon images will be contacted by email, given priceless 7th Son swag, and announced in a future Bonus Episode of 7th Son!
Enter as many LOL7thSon images as you like — but you must email five new friends (and Natasha) for each new entry you create. No cheating, comrades. Natasha watching you.
Deadline for this mission: December 31, 2007.
Transmission ends.
The 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda
~ Domination Through Replication ~
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MOP Audio Dispatch: Operation Droplift
Another ambitious mission awaits you! Natasha, voice of the 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda, commands you to participate in MOP mission #5, code-named “Operation Droplift.”
Complete this mission, and you’ll land your name on the coveted Agents of the Ministry page. Plus, you may win special GUEST APPEARANCES in 7th Son: Book Three. Five winners will announce “episode IDs” in future episodes. Another five will recite “The Story So Far” episode recaps.
Link to the mission page is here, comrade. Transmission ends.
7th Son Ministry Of Propaganda
~ Domination Through Replication ~
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MOP Mission #5: Operation Droplift
Comrades, the 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda is back from hiatus … and Natasha (and J.C. Hutchins) requests your help in re-starting the revolution. The prizes this time are most excellent: A Guest appearance on the 7th Son podcast.
Your new mission? OPERATION DROPLIFT. You’ll be spreading the word about 7th Son by “droplifting” our propaganda in local bookstores. Unlike shoplifting, you won’t be secretly taking something. You’ll be secretly leaving something.
By clicking the image above or the button at the end of this dispatch (or here), you will be directed to a PDF document. This page features special messages for future 7th Son listeners. Print this at least twice — more is better, but that’s your call — and cut the pages into eight little cards (each approximately size of Mao’s Little Red Book).
Take these cards to a local bookstore or library and insert each into a different book. The goal: To intrigue newcomers to check out 7th Son.
Which books should you choose? Natasha and J.C. have a few recommendations. Place these cards in older titles that still sell: fiction by Stephen King, Michael Crichton, Dan Brown, Tom Clancy, or Robert J. Sawyer. Or non-fiction books on human cloning, conspiracy theories, or the internet. Ultimately, the Ministry of Propaganda trusts its agents: Choose books that you enjoy.
This is not an illegal act … but it does require subterfuge, as some bookstore employees may not like the competition from our subversive media. Please note: Do not insert cards into children’s literature, such as such as Harry Potter or Goodnight Moon.
When you have distributed all eight (or more) cards, e-mail Natasha at 7thsonmop@gmail.com to notify her of mission completion. If she “in good mood,” she will give you credit for mission and enter you in an MOP drawing for prizes.
Ten lucky Agents of the Ministry will be rewarded for their loyalty. Five Agents will win opportunities to recite episode intro IDs in future episodes of Book Three (”You’re listening to Episode X”). Five others will recite “The Story So Far” recaps in future episodes of Book Three.
Deadline for this mission is one week after launch of Book Three: 7/14/07. Agents not completing mission by this time will be mocked publicly in front of the Kremlin. Now Agents: Go forth, print and spread the 7th Son gospel!
Download the propaganda!
(PDF format. Print TWICE and distribute cards.)
Transmission ends.
The 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda
~ Domination Through Replication ~
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MOP Audio Dispatch: Operation Start The Presses!
Another ambitious mission awaits you! Natasha, voice of the 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda, commands you to participate in MOP mission #4, code-named “Operation Start the Presses!”
Complete this mission, and you’ll land your name on the coveted Agents of the Ministry page. Plus, you will be entered in a drawing for a cameo in the forthcoming “Ops Center” room in the 7th Son Virtual Tour, or a cool MOP T-shirt from GeekLabel.com!
Transmission ends.
7th Son Ministry Of Propaganda
~ Domination Through Replication ~
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MOP Mission #4: Operation Start The Presses!
Comrades, there are six more weeks until Book Two: Deceit concludes, and it’s time to put the hammer (and sickle) down on our promotion. Your new mission for the Ministry? Mob the media. Infiltrate the press. We’re gunning for mainstream newspaper coverage … and we need your help in a major way.
For this mission, you’re more than Agents of the Ministry — you’re PRESS AGENTS of the Ministry. 7th Son may not be in print form, but there’s no reason it can’t be mentioned your local print media!
YOUR ORDERS
Contact a features reporter or the features editor of your local mainstream newspaper or alternative weekly. Email them the letter found below. Be sure to cc: Natasha ( 7thSonMOP@gmail.com ) in the email. That’s it.
Download the letter!
(simple text file; copy/paste into email)
YOUR GOAL
Maximum exposure for 7th Son — and the “The Story So Far” celebrities appearing in these final Book Two episodes — in traditional media.
THE SPECIFICS
7th Son author J.C. Hutchins was once a journalist, so he knows some DOs and DON’Ts when it comes to contacting newspaper folk. Please follow these guidelines when sending your email:
- DO personalize the email. (Example: “Dear Mr./Ms. Smith…”)
- DO send the email to appropriate contacts. (Features reporters/editors, Books reporters/editors. NOT sports, business, editor-in-chief, etc.)
- DO NOT send mass email, should you choose to contact more than one person at a publication. Please send individually personalized emails to each reporter/editor.
- DO NOT send follow-up email, or pester the contact. (Reporters hate this.) If the reporter is interested in covering 7th Son, he/she will contact J.C. directly.
If you cannot find the email address for a local reporter/editor, take three minutes to call the publication and ask. No need to pitch the story over the phone; just get the info and skedaddle. Email’s the contact method of choice. It’s free, timely and efficient.
Download the letter!
(simple text file; copy/paste into email)
YOUR REWARD
Since the Ministry is asking you to do some hefty footwork on this mission, the 7th Son swag up for grabs is mighty indeed! Complete the mission by Sunday, Feb. 25 and become eligible for these prizes:
Five lucky agents will win a personal cameo in the 7th Son experience! Your portrait will be featured as a 7th Son facility “Employee of the Month” in the forthcoming 7th Son Facility VR Tour “Ops Center” room. Ministry architect Martin Parrott will forever immortalize you in this new VR! You’ll be a part of the story!
Five runner-up agents will win free wicked MOP T-shirts from GeekLabel.com, the official clothier of 7th Son!
Winners will be announced on the Tuesday, Feb. 27 episode of 7th Son.
THE MINISTRY IS YOUR FRIEND
Do you need assistance in finding the website and email addresses for your capitalist local media? The Ministry is here to help! Dig these links for more info:
For U.S. residents
Links to mainstream U.S. newspapers
Links to U.S. alt-weeklies
For Canadian residents
Links to mainstream Canadian newspapers
For U.K. residents
Links to mainstream U.K. publications
More links
For European residents
For all 7th Son fans
FINAL WORDS, COMRADE
Remember: You must CC Natasha at 7thSonMOP@gmail.com in your email to be eligible for Agent status (and the killer swag). Deadline for prize eligibility is Sunday, Feb. 25.
Good luck, agent! Go forth and take your evangelism to the mass media!
Transmission ends.
The 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda
~ Domination Through Replication ~
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MOP Audio Dispatch: Operation Baby Can You Digg It?
It’s a new mission from Natasha, voice of the 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda. Natasha commands you to participate in MOP mission #3, code-named “Operation Baby, Can You Digg It?” Complete both parts of this mission, and you’ll land your name on the coveted Agents of the Ministry page. Plus, you will be entered in a drawing for more capitalist swag.
Transmission ends.
7th Son Ministry Of Propaganda
~Domination Through Replication~
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MOP Mission #3: Operation Baby, Can You Digg It?
Once again, it is time to spread the 7th Son message to the masses, comrades. If you’re up to date with the episodes in Book Two: Deceit, you’ve probably heard the announcement about the very cool 7th Son facility “Virtual Tour.”
Not only is this a pixel-perfect representation of the 7th Son facility, but this VR tour is also the first of its kind in podcast fiction. Never before have listeners of a podiobook been able to pan, zoom and interact with an environment like the one at JCHutchins.net.
Now it’s time to tell the world about it. This mission requires you to infiltrate two battlefronts.
Battlefront One: Click the link below. It will send you a story at Digg.com about the Virtual Tour. Digg.com is a popular user-driven site that covers tech and culture.
While at this page, you will “digg” the story by clicking the digg it icon near the headline. Your “digg” will boost this story’s ranking at Digg.com, which will increase its visibility to visitors who know nothing about 7th Son. These people will check out the Virtual Tour. They will likely be smitten by its coolness. They, too, will digg the story.
If enough Agents of the Ministry digg it, 7th Son may appear on the homepage of Digg.com — prime real estate for new listeners. And if the digging continues, the story may be mentioned on DiggNation, one of the most popular podcasts on the planet. Can you say “captive capitalist audience?” Da. Which brings us to…
…Battlefront Two: Your friends. Once you’ve dugg the story, send an email to as many friends as you can, encouraging them to also digg it. Send them the link above. Tell them to tell their friends, and so on. The goal: 1,000 diggs. Can you do your part? Natasha and the Ministry of Propaganda are counting on you!
Please note that you must register for an account at Digg.com in order to digg the story. If you are not registered at Digg, please click here. It’s free and painless, and Digg never sends spam. They’re one of the good guys.
You must complete this mission and send Natasha an email (at 7thSonMOP@gmail.com ) with your compliance by Jan. 1, 2007. Five lucky Agents of the Ministry will be selected to win a classy, durable ceramic tile coaster featuring the MOP logo. Now you can brainwash your friends during cocktails! Vodka, anyone?
Good luck, comrade! Now get Digging!
Transmission ends.
The 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda
~ Domination Through Replication ~
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MOP Audio Dispatch: Operation Burn, Baby Burn
Meet Natasha, the voice of the 7th Son Ministry of Propaganda. Natasha briefs you on the latest mission for the Ministry, code-named “Operation Burn, Baby, Burn.” Distribute five CDs of 7th Son and get your name on the coveted Agents of the Ministry page. Distribute more, and you’ll be eligible to win some killer capitalist swag.
Find instructions for mission #2 here, comrade. Transmission ends.
7th Son Ministry Of Propaganda
~Domination Through Replication~
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